Temporary Deaf

Right now, I am literally deaf in my left ear. I am hearing only with my right ear. And it is such an abnormal feeling. This is the first time I have practically realized the importance of having two ears. It is more than just hearing the sound from the left corner better with the left ear. This helps with your speaking too! I cannot just control my voice. I cannot understand if to lower or to increase my volume. Even in the lowest volume, I can hear myself speaking loundly. Its horrible. The learning from this experience is - we balance the volume of our voice with our ears!

Well, the thing is I am using this particular ear drop which turns me deaf when used in 4 drops. I had been having this problem with my left ear since God knows when. Whenever I tried to clean it or pull out my earphone, it would send a thrill of pain. I have always neglected it thinking - "I hear clearly; I have no hearing problem. This is just my left ear and it only aches once in a while!" Now that I pulled out my earphone two days back and winced in pain, Maruf noticed. He decided to take me to an ENT specialist. I was like - "ok, you want to take some pain for nothing .. do!"

However, after the doctor tested my ear, his reaction made Maruf give me a look of - "See?" According to the doc, I have serious fungal infection in my left ear and it has been nurtured with great care for years. Hearing the word FUNGUS, I just went like, "EWE! NEVER! I always clean my ears. I am very squeamish." And as the doctor opined, this fungal dispersion was actually caused by my this over-cleaning attemps with cotton bud. The more I cleaned, the more the fungus got irritated.

So now that I have to use this ear drop for dealing with this stupid thing(s) inside my ear, I turn temporarily deaf for hours. It was such a horrible day today at office. I was in a meeting and as I heard really loud whatever I said, I kept lowering my voice. Everyone was always like - "what?". It was really very awkward with the big boss around. And the ear kept aching also. When finally, the blockage of the ear started to be unclogged, I had to pour some more drops again. And here I go - deaf in my left ear again.

Piece of advice! If it ever pains when you are cleaning your ear(s), STOP! And counsel a doctor. Hearing with one ear, let alone no ears at all, is not really a pretty experience. So make sure you do not neglect when it pains - once in a while.

Random Words - I

I have promised to write something today. Why? .. because I want to get back to the track of writing. I have turned into such a lazy bum that even if I have the time to write something, I pull back. I am always procrastinating wondering what to write, when I find many things to write about then which one to write about, how much time can I really spend for this .. bla bla bla. Habit is a very important thing. And you need to actually nurture your hobbies and expertise. I realized how my writing ability has faded out when I was going through some old issues of some "not very known" magazines. I used to write for them when I was doing my BBA. My eyes almost popped out as I kept reading my own writing because I could bet that I cannot write anything of that quality and with that strong vocubulary now. I have just lost it!! Thats the problem with lack of practice.

Well, I actually have pretty good excuses now for not being able to blog frequently. The new unit where I have switched have actually loaded me with enough work to be bogged down for the 9 hours I stay at office. To add more to that, I still have to carry out the responsibilities of my old unit since they have not yet found a replacement. So I am actually doing the job of two officers - unfortunately being paid for only one! This still could have been less stressing if I could have extended my office hours. Unfortunately my classes of MBA start at 6 pm for which I have to leave office no late than 5:15 because reaching IBA from Gulshan is quite something through the traffic jam and some "famous" signals like the one near Sonargaon and Bangla Motor.

After the office and the classes, when I get back home I literally have difficulties finding an iota of energy to even dine. Even now I am fighting hard with my sleepy eyes to concentrate and continue. Even a year back, 12:01 am was just the beginning of the night for me. Often I went to sleep after the fazr, at 4 am or even at a later hour. Now I wake up sharp at 6:30 am and wake Maruf up also. I even have started bathing early in the morning, which apparently I never did before in my 24 years life, since last week. How people change! The good thing is I am completely comfortable with my new life style and also pretty satisfied. I reminisce about my old days but have no sighs for not having a life like that now. It is because I believe, as a whole, I have a hundred times better life now. There is a beauty in a disciplined life. Really there is.

Today I finished something big at office which I had been trying to work out for some two weeks. My departmental boss and I had been trying hard to convince our Unit Head about the project but he constantly kept challenging. At first, I was a little pissed off with this Hungarian guy. However, finally, I realized what I finally came up with is much.. much.. much better than what I had come up with earlier. We all agreed on the last one and I realized the beauty of challenges and fine-tuning. And I also realized another thing .. why this tall Hungarian guy is the boss!

Office has finally become very hectic. The most crucial moments at office for me is the lunch time and the departure time. Maruf and I both look forward for lunch and also for leaving for IBA together. We are having the same three courses this semester. For last few days, I am having problem with timing and almost missed lunch everyday. One day he had to leave alone and we so hated it. I do not also feel good making him wait downstairs for me without knowing whether I can actually go and even if I can - when. We both are very disappointed with these because we work in different floors and even after office we actually get no time for ourselves as we have to attend classes.

Tomorrow is another big day. I will go to sleep now hoping everything will go smooth tomorow and can meet him on time. *keeping my fingers crossed*

Introduction to a Rejuvenated Blogger

I have a problem. Whenever i am writing, I always feel like writing about myself - especially my feelings. This is why I had trouble with starting blogging again. Whenever I thought of restarting my blog, I always went back to think of writing about my emotions and feelings towards certain incident or person or anything else. I wanted to change the pattern of my blog - to start writing something meaningful instead of expressing my own stupid emotions in typed words. This is going to be a pretty difficult task for me, I guess, to keep my emotions aside but I have promised not to fill this blog with my silly emotions - at least not always!

The last time I blogged was on 25 December 2005. Then I was still a student of IBA - in my final semester - full of worries regarding what is next. I still remember I wrote that post sitting in the call center of Grameenphone where I worked part time then. Many things have changed in my life since then .. many things. Let me write a little about that to bridge the gap of more than a year.

I completed my final semester in January. Then I got busy with attending interviews and written tests and case analaysis - everything the potential employers could come up with - to manage a job of my choice. I, for some reason, wanted to work for Grameenphone. I am still not pretty sure why though - perhaps because I was already working there. In February, I left my part time job in Grameenphone and kept attending interviews for different departments there and also in other places. Finally I got my call and so I started working in the Distribution department from 6 March. The beginning was pretty rough, I was frustrated but I was able to cope as time went by.

Other than that I had my convocation in November, got engaged in January this year and also have switched to Trade Marketing from my old department very recently. And yes, I have gone back to IBA, to again take the pain, for my MBA. I have started another chapter of my life at IBA with the same old frustration, God knows why and perhaps I will write in details about that later.

ohh .. another thing - I have abandoned my nocturnal life. I am writing this blog, literally yawning and trying hard to avoid the beckon of my bed. I have become a morning person - and this is just one of the many other changes in my life and routine. I'll get to talk about those later where those will be relavent.

So now it's bed time for me! It is feeling good to think of seeing a post by me again in my blog. I hope to generate that feeling in a continuous basis. Good night for today!

Link to my old BLOG